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She will kill me if I tell you this, but my friend from college, we shall call her deb- as that is her name- tells a very funny story.

The story goes roughly thusly: She went her college reunion (she graduated a year before I did)(and I never read the newsletter so I wouldnt have been there anyway) and said reunion was on a boat that left a harbour in NYC. So far so good right? right. So she is dancing with the guy she once dated and forever wanted to date again but couldnt for verious reasons (you didnt need to know that- sheapos;s going to kill me)(but that detail is important)(think:"guy she really wants to impress") and she is drinking and she keeps getting more and more drunk.

all good.

and the dance floor is on the deck of the boat and shes wearing some stemy little black shoes and shes drunk, on a wet boat deck and shes dancing... Now you are following... And the boat lurches and everyone stops what they are doing a moment and waits out the lurch... But deb? no not deb. Her feet go out from under her and she falls flat on her ass. With her legs akimbo and somewhat in the air... (Not impressive right?) but she is holding a fresh cosmo and she holds it up above her head during her fall and never spills a drop. Perhaps a drop but certinly not the drink...
and someone unknown yells "Whoo Oneonta girls hold their liquor" and people started clapping.

which you have to admit, is pretty impressive.

and I couldnt help but agree, girls at oneonta never spilled their drinks. Boys did. They would attempt to dance and flap their arms about while forgetting that they once had an amber bock. Where did the bock go? oh well.

I spent this pas weekend in Vermont. I was attending my best friends wedding, and it took place on sunday and I arrived on saturday.. Night. Pretty late, having attended a birthday party and taken the 3 and a half hour trip out there. Non the less I was very excited to be there. Best friends new family was hilarious. Also warm and friendly and a little snarky and I was prepared to marry one of them myself. And her new father in law jumped up and made me a rather wacky margarita... So whats not to like?

and Im sitting with them all in a living room full of dining room chairs when a wave of.. Belch smell.. Washes over me. Not wanting to make a scene.. Although honestly I always wind up in a scene... I stood up abruptly and moved a few chairs down, holding my drink, I proceeded to face out while seating myself.

The thing of it was, best friends new husband, acting on a request had started to pull chairs from the living room. He pulled my intended chair and the one next to me out from under me as I was sitting.... Causing yet another "full house moment" except that Iapos;d had a long day and what I figured was a decadently strong drink, Therefor.. As I descended I thought "Shit theres really no chair there everyone must think Im crazy drunk" so not wanting to make a fool of myself I engaged my core muscles and proceeded to sort of effortlessly roll down my back and on to the floor - minding not to smack my head on the tile floor of the adjoining kitchen right behind me and yet... Maintaining my drinks up-right integrity.... Well mr new husband to my best friend was absolutely motionless with fear. And When I sat up I erupted into laughter. Looking at the really stunned faces of my audience my laughter become completely uncontrollable paused only to sip my drink.

and the drink maker threw his hands in the air.. And yelped "Shes okay" and everyone joined in the laughing.


An oneonta girl never spills her drink when she is falling over. True to form.
and that was quite possibly the best time I have ever had falling down.

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